May 23, 2008. That is the date of my sweet Gabrielle's birthday. Perhaps it's not the date she chose to arrive on, but it was the date we decided she would make her appearance. I agonized over the decision of getting induced. I know so many woman do it, but there is something about letting our bodies do what God designed them to do. I trust in that design and had the blessing of a natural child birth with my Samuel. However, the big belly got the best of me at 14 days past my due date and we needed to get on with life.
I had some rare complications after my birth with Samuel. A minor hemorrhage and a surgery 5 days later that took almost 7 months to fully heal. It was rough on top of the bed-rest for half my pregnancy. (If you know me, I am a busy bee - can't sit still kind of person.) Samuel, unlike his sister was eager to come out so we worked on keeping him in. And he did - what a good boy!
Needless to say, it all seemed to me that God was solidifying my heart's desire to adopt children in the future. The desire to adopt was planted in my heart after working with missionary friends of mine in Romania for several summers. It is my heart's cry to care for the orphan and widow!
Tim and I researched international adoption for about six months when we felt the nudge to expand our family. It was an amazing experience that further reinforced my call to care for the orphaned and abandoned children in our world. I learned of several wonderful organizations that not only do adoptions but also have amazing relief efforts under way (Check out
All God's Children and the story of how they got started). I spent hours learning about the plight of many of the world's children and spent many more hours crying and interceding on their behalf. God however did not open any doors for us to adopt during this current season of life. We still had the nudge to expand our family and there was only one other way to do it. Yep. We got pregnant. Something I never thought I would do a second time, but once I saw those 2 pink lines on the stick I was jumping for joy!!! I do beleive that there will be a season of life for me where I will fulfill my call to the orphan whether it be through adoption or relief work and I can't wait to share that experience with Tim, Samuel and Gabrielle.
Anyway, that brings us back to May 23rd. I had the option of going on a pitocin drip or having my midwife break my water. I was so far dilated and effaced, she figured that either way should be a quick induction. We started a pitocin drip around 12:30 pm and sat around of birthing suite playing computer games to pass the time. Tim and I were laughing and were quite giddy with expectation. After 3 hours with some inconsistent and painless contractions, we decided to walk the halls. I was able to use a portable fetal monitor so I wasn't bound to the bed like many induced women are.
Courtney arrived and started the photo shoot!
After about 4 hours of pitocin, the contractions hit hard and fast.
Bradley Child Birth training paid off big time! I went through active labor in 2 1/4 hours, transition labor for about 15 minutes and pushed for 1/2 hour. My sweet girl made her arrival at 7:32pm and we managed to do it without any pain medication!!! She was as lovely as could be at 9lbs, 6 oz and 21 1/4 inches with her platinum blond hair. Oh, that joy ... you know, the one that replaces the pain with equal intensity! It flooded my heart to overflowing. Another precious miracle has been given to me from above!
The rest of he story is unfortunate. I began to have a very serious hemorrhage after delivering the placenta. They opened the pitocin drip, gave me a shot of something and another suppository of some sort. Nothing was working! For those of you that have experienced child birth, you know all about the "pushing on the abdomen" routine you are subjected to in order to clamp down the uterus. Well, they had to do that every 15 minutes. The nurse must have been the incredible hulk's wife in disguise because she really knew how to push!
They also had to do other horrific things to me internally which I will spare you the details since this is posted on the internet. After several hours of this routine, I decided to take some drugs to help me cope with the pain. I was losing the fight in me quickly. My blood pressure crashed several times - very scary! Thank God for smelling salts and IV fluids!
I have to tell you that Tim was truly amazing. He never left my side and he was my constant source of peace in the moment. Even when I could not open my eyes, I could hear his soft voice praying or talking to me. My mother-in-law had Gabrielle in her arms. I cannot thank her enough for being there and enduring into the wee hours of the night.
After 4 hours of bleeding and various medical opinions, it was decided that exploratory surgery would be our best option. I remember thinking at this point -
I'm either going to die, or they are going to knock me out and it would be OK if either happened, I just need the pain, the prodding, the bleeding to stop.
The Doctor on call happened to be the same doctor that did my surgery after Samuel. I just love her and it was a blessing to see her face. When they finally wheeled me into the OR, I felt a huge sense of relief and even found a bit of my sense of humor as I asked the doctor if she wouldn't mind performing a vasectomy on my husband when she was done. There was chuckles throughout the room and then the next thing I knew I was waking up. The bleeding had stopped and so did all the hustle and bustle around me. It was a peaceful moment. They wound up giving me 2 units of blood since my hematocrit was dangerously low and I was finally allowed to rest. The reason for the bleeding: a piece of the placenta tore off and was still attached to the uterus. As Samuel would say,
"Silly Placenta!"
While I was recovering, Tim, my mother-in-law, and Gabrielle were moved into a new room. Tim had to go back to the birthing suite to make sure we had all our belongings. He told me that when he got there, the cleaning lady was just about to go in. Poor cleaning lady! The room was now eerily empty and quiet. Blood was everywhere. Tim said it was a difficult moment for him knowing that it was my blood, but God's peace permeated the moment. He said that a divine word was planted in his heart - the blood I had lost would be redeemed. And so he left that birthing suite - the one where both of beautiful children were born - and he came to my side to comfort me.
I returned to my room about 5:30am - 10 hours after my daughter was born. And so started the beginning of healing and parenting 2 children. I have been healing quickly and am so thankful to the amazing people who helped me through - Jennifer, the nurse during the birth, was incredible. She watched me closely and even stayed late to go with me into surgery! Helen, my maternity nurse, was so kind and gentle. She helped me get on my feet again. Pam, the mid-wife who delivered Gabrielle, was so even natured and calm through the whole ordeal. I always felt like I was in good hands. Courtney, a true friend! She photographed the birth for us. Esther, who watched Lila for Courtney and had to listen to the whole thing from the hallway. Eileen, who cares for my family as if we were her own; and both my mother and mother-in-law for giving of themselves so completely in the weeks following.
So, I grapple with the "why" this all had to happen. Even as firm in my faith as I think I am, I still wrestle with God from time to time. I am trying to remain thankful for a healthy pregnancy and baby. Also, for the medical care we have here in the US - many women across the globe die during childbirth because of severe hemorrhaging. Yet I still struggle with why both of my birthing experiences had so many rare complications. I wonder if God has sealed the deal in my heart. The heart that longs to help lost and abandoned children. I wonder if he is showing me what it means to endure in faith and in trust when things just don't make sense. See, the one thing I know is that we cannot escape the trials of a fallen world, but we can overcome because Jesus did. The other thing I know is that our faith does not rest in what God does but in who God is. We must have a faith that finds itself secure within his complete sovereignty and his unfailing love. Without those two things the world will toss us about like the waves of the sea. I don't know about you, but I'd rather be on the ROCK!
The cake definitely looked funny...
But still it tasted very YUMMY!!!
Opening presents was a blast!!!
And the big one...
My very own drum set, at last!!!
May 23, 2008. That is the date of my sweet Gabrielle's birthday. Perhaps it's not the date she chose to arrive on, but it was the date we decided she would make her appearance. I agonized over the decision of getting induced. I know so many woman do it, but there is something about letting our bodies do what God designed them to do. I trust in that design and had the blessing of a natural child birth with my Samuel. However, the big belly got the best of me at 14 days past my due date and we needed to get on with life.
While I was recovering, Tim, my mother-in-law, and Gabrielle were moved into a new room. Tim had to go back to the birthing suite to make sure we had all our belongings. He told me that when he got there, the cleaning lady was just about to go in. Poor cleaning lady! The room was now eerily empty and quiet. Blood was everywhere. Tim said it was a difficult moment for him knowing that it was my blood, but God's peace permeated the moment. He said that a divine word was planted in his heart - the blood I had lost would be redeemed. And so he left that birthing suite - the one where both of beautiful children were born - and he came to my side to comfort me.
I returned to my room about 5:30am - 10 hours after my daughter was born. And so started the beginning of healing and parenting 2 children. I have been healing quickly and am so thankful to the amazing people who helped me through - Jennifer, the nurse during the birth, was incredible. She watched me closely and even stayed late to go with me into surgery! Helen, my maternity nurse, was so kind and gentle. She helped me get on my feet again. Pam, the mid-wife who delivered Gabrielle, was so even natured and calm through the whole ordeal. I always felt like I was in good hands. Courtney, a true friend! She photographed the birth for us. Esther, who watched Lila for Courtney and had to listen to the whole thing from the hallway. Eileen, who cares for my family as if we were her own; and both my mother and mother-in-law for giving of themselves so completely in the weeks following.
So, I grapple with the "why" this all had to happen. Even as firm in my faith as I think I am, I still wrestle with God from time to time. I am trying to remain thankful for a healthy pregnancy and baby. Also, for the medical care we have here in the US - many women across the globe die during childbirth because of severe hemorrhaging. Yet I still struggle with why both of my birthing experiences had so many rare complications. I wonder if God has sealed the deal in my heart. The heart that longs to help lost and abandoned children. I wonder if he is showing me what it means to endure in faith and in trust when things just don't make sense. See, the one thing I know is that we cannot escape the trials of a fallen world, but we can overcome because Jesus did. The other thing I know is that our faith does not rest in what God does but in who God is. We must have a faith that finds itself secure within his complete sovereignty and his unfailing love. Without those two things the world will toss us about like the waves of the sea. I don't know about you, but I'd rather be on the ROCK!
She sleeps so peacefully!
Bright eyed and content in her comfy bouncer!
Samuel was sharing his puzzle with his baby sister!
Samuel sporting his new "big Brother" tee-shirt!
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