Acceptance

A few weeks ago our house was a swirl with way too many things to do. Tim was working more hours than ever before in preparation for baby. A scientist rarely works a 9-5 job ya know. Needless to say, on days that he runs experiments, he will often be out of the house for 15+ hours. He had meetings and talks and all sorts of things taking up his precious time. He was flat out exhausted and a bit cranky if I must admit. For those of you who know Tim, you would agree that "Mr. Steady Eddy," "Mr. Everything is Just Fine," "Mr. My Blood Pressure Never Gets Above 100/70" is rarely cranky. I knew he was beyond stressed and totally exhausted. I was concerned how he would weather the arrival of a newborn amidst the stress. Where would my rock be when I needed him most?

I was working far more than a 9 month pregnant lady should have been. It's a money thing if ya know what I mean. I'm doing what I can to help our family while Tim finishes his PhD and bridge the gap for a maternity leave. The pressure was on and did I mention, I work well under pressure? Even though I have a business in my home, I still must go out to make sales. And that I did. My April sales were something to brag about. However, I was pretty cranky too. Tim was walking on egg shells in fear that I would take his head off for putting the mayo on the wrong shelf in the refrigerator. I wondered in my current state how was I ever going to endure labor and be a good Mommy to both my children when I knew that sleep would be even less abundant after baby's arrival?

So here I am 4 days after my due date. No big deal right? Well because Samuel came 2 weeks early I was prepared for the same this time. So here I've been waiting around for over 2 weeks with no baby in my arms. Impatience got the best of me and so did the misery of my cramped stomach. Irritability took over and so did the tears. I think I've cried every day for the past 2 weeks.

Until today...

Today was a new day. A day of revelation and gratitude. Today, God's voice was louder than my own. Today I realized that in the past 2 1/2 weeks of "waiting," I have spent more time with my husband than in the last 2 months combined. We've actually sat up for hours at night talking, sorting out child rearing issues, watching our little girl roll around in my tummy, pondering the upcoming life changes, laughing and connecting. It has been amazing! Tim has had some very precious time with Samuel and the response is great. We've implemented a few changes at bedtime and created a sticker chart for sleeping all night in his bed and lo and behold it is working. Our son who was up 2,3,4 times at night has been sleeping once again through the night. And his attitude during the day has been a thousand times better. He has been such a delight! So today I accepted the "inconvenience" of still being pregnant and felt my heart well up with gratitude to God for allowing me this precious time with my family. We are now rested, connected, content and prepared for this new season.

For all the Mom's in blogland:

Happy Mother's Day!!!
Be blessed and appreciated for all you do!
Here's a poem that I received by email. Enjoy!


BEFORE I WAS A MOM:

I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about immunizations.

BEFORE I WAS A MOM:

I had never been puked on. Pooped on. Chewed on. Peed on. I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. I slept all night.

BEFORE I WAS A MOM:

I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests. Or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

BEFORE I WAS A MOM:

I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put her down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom.

BEFORE I WAS A MOM:

I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

BEFORE I WAS A MOM:

I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.

(My mom and Samuel, 2007)


(Tim's Mom and Samuel, 2006)


(Mommy and Samuel, 2007)

Mother's Day Giveaway

It's almost mother's day and G over at This Girl's Pilgrimage decided to have a Memories of Mom Giveaway! All you have to do is leave a comment of one of your favorite memories of your Mom and you will be entered into a contest for G's beautiful handcrafted jewelry!!! You'll love the earrings and even more reading about how wonderful mom's really are! Hope you join in to say a few good words about your mom today!

An ode to myself

Happy Due Date to me!
Happy Due Date to me!
Happy Due Date to me-e!
Happy Due Date to me!

How big are you now?
How big are you now?
How big are you no-ow?
How big are you now?

Your big like a house!
Your big like a house!
Your big like a hou-ouse!
Your big like a house!

Because I delivered Samuel 2 weeks early, I've never had the not-so-pleasant experience of having my stomach mashed into a little ball, feeling sick to my stomach after every meal and having to pee 5x a night. (My midwife guestimated baby's weight this past Tuesday at 8 1/2 - 9lbs already) So, its time for her to make her appearance anytime now. Today I am having a rough day. Perhaps tomorrow will be better!

Wordless Wednesday - Still Pregnant!!!

Sleep Solutions Anyone???

Samuel has never slept well! And he's always slept less hours at night than your average child but takes a good nap in the afternoon. He's the kind of kid whose mind is on auto pilot and he's always ready to go the second his eyes open. He has never been the type to just pass out from exhaustion. Never! The past month has brought some really difficult sleep problems our way and I'm looking for suggestions. Tim and I are going crazy and with the baby about to arrive we are fearing the worst.

Samuel must be going through some serious separation anxiety and responding to me being very pregnant and not quite the energetic Mommy I once was. All of a sudden, he refuses to go to bed, begging me to sing to him, stay with him, etc. He always went to bed without a problem. So, I've been sitting in a chair in his room as a compromise but it still takes him forever and a day to settle down and actually fall asleep. I rarely get him to fall asleep before 9pm, no matter what time we start his bedtime routine. Which by the way has not changed one bit.

He is also night waking several times a night and must come sleep next to me on the couch (my new bed). Tim and I have been sticklers about not letting Samuel sleep with us. No-one really sleeps anyway when 3 of us are in bed. So, I let him cuddle for 5-10 minutes, get a Mommy fix and then Tim takes him back to bed. Sometimes he falls right back to sleep but often it takes quite a bit of soothing. And then ever other week it seems like we have a really bad night and Samuel is up for 2-3 hours.

Samuel is also up at the crack of dawn - 6 am on the dot! This is actually an improvement from the 5 o' clock hour we were plagued with for so long. We wound up putting an alarm clock in his bedroom and telling him he couldn't get out of bed until 6am. It worked for awhile, but lately he comes out to snuggle with me no matter what time it is.

Needless to say, Samuel takes long naps about 2-2.5 hours each day.

It's really hard on a us to have him in bed so late and up so early. We feel like we never have any down time without him around. Marriages need that if ya know what I mean. Anyway, just wondering if anyone out there might have some suggestions???

Special Connection

This post is in response to my friend Sarah's post from today. I had to put up something on my blog once I read her post and smiled so big! Please go check her post out.

Sarah and I have a unique connection when it comes to the timing of our pregnancies. It started back 4 years ago when we were doing youth ministry together and we happened to get pregnant at the same time. Our due dates were only 1 week apart (Sarah's being first). We walked together, exercised together, shared pregnancy woes together. We even went to Bradley child birthing classes together with our husbands. We had a lot of laughs during the relaxation time when we were supposed to be practicing labor techniques. Instead we were like little kids giggling when the rest of the room was serious.

Samuel wound up arriving 11 days early and her daughter came late. So now they share a birthday a week apart just in the opposite way predicted. Unfortunately, Sarah and crew moved across the country and we do not have an opportunity to see each other regularly.


When I found out I was pregnant the second time around, I gave her a call and told her. I heard silence, then "so am I." This time our due dates are even closer - Sarah is May 8th and mine is May 9th. CAN YOU SAY WEIRD??? We never even spoke over the phone about trying to get pregnant and here we were once again. Do you think our husband's were talking?



If that isn't weird enough, a few months ago we were chatting and realized that we had chosen the same name for our soon-to-be-born little girls. CAN YOU SAY BIZARRE? (Be patient, you'll find out the name soon if you don't already know. ) I don't think it gets any stranger than that. And so, we have this special connection. Our children will always have friends from the womb and we will always have had the pleasure and blessing of sharing pregnancy and child rearing together!