Acceptance

A few weeks ago our house was a swirl with way too many things to do. Tim was working more hours than ever before in preparation for baby. A scientist rarely works a 9-5 job ya know. Needless to say, on days that he runs experiments, he will often be out of the house for 15+ hours. He had meetings and talks and all sorts of things taking up his precious time. He was flat out exhausted and a bit cranky if I must admit. For those of you who know Tim, you would agree that "Mr. Steady Eddy," "Mr. Everything is Just Fine," "Mr. My Blood Pressure Never Gets Above 100/70" is rarely cranky. I knew he was beyond stressed and totally exhausted. I was concerned how he would weather the arrival of a newborn amidst the stress. Where would my rock be when I needed him most?

I was working far more than a 9 month pregnant lady should have been. It's a money thing if ya know what I mean. I'm doing what I can to help our family while Tim finishes his PhD and bridge the gap for a maternity leave. The pressure was on and did I mention, I work well under pressure? Even though I have a business in my home, I still must go out to make sales. And that I did. My April sales were something to brag about. However, I was pretty cranky too. Tim was walking on egg shells in fear that I would take his head off for putting the mayo on the wrong shelf in the refrigerator. I wondered in my current state how was I ever going to endure labor and be a good Mommy to both my children when I knew that sleep would be even less abundant after baby's arrival?

So here I am 4 days after my due date. No big deal right? Well because Samuel came 2 weeks early I was prepared for the same this time. So here I've been waiting around for over 2 weeks with no baby in my arms. Impatience got the best of me and so did the misery of my cramped stomach. Irritability took over and so did the tears. I think I've cried every day for the past 2 weeks.

Until today...

Today was a new day. A day of revelation and gratitude. Today, God's voice was louder than my own. Today I realized that in the past 2 1/2 weeks of "waiting," I have spent more time with my husband than in the last 2 months combined. We've actually sat up for hours at night talking, sorting out child rearing issues, watching our little girl roll around in my tummy, pondering the upcoming life changes, laughing and connecting. It has been amazing! Tim has had some very precious time with Samuel and the response is great. We've implemented a few changes at bedtime and created a sticker chart for sleeping all night in his bed and lo and behold it is working. Our son who was up 2,3,4 times at night has been sleeping once again through the night. And his attitude during the day has been a thousand times better. He has been such a delight! So today I accepted the "inconvenience" of still being pregnant and felt my heart well up with gratitude to God for allowing me this precious time with my family. We are now rested, connected, content and prepared for this new season.