Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts

Monday, April 13, 2009

All Things New

That was the title of our Easter service at church. Our pastor delivered a powerful message and I am reminded and refreshed once again in the transforming power of Jesus Christ.

Some of you are saying AMEN! Some of you might scan my words and some of you will read no further, BUT before you click off this page, I urge to to open your hearts and your minds for just a little longer.

What if Jesus really can make all things new for you?

He did for me.

Would you take a half hour of your precious time and watch the following MESSAGE? It's really good stuff! Life changing! And please don't skip the cardboard testimonies at the end of the video. You won't regret it - I promise!

This is my cardboard testimony!


(Maybe I should have put a little make-up on before taking these pics at 11pm with a cold)

Do you have a cardboard testimony to share?
Please do!


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Saturday, September 13, 2008

Real Life

So I've been thinking. Lately many of my posts have had a somehwat negative slant to them. Well, maybe not negative but they are certainly not the uplifting, "my life is so great" type of posts. They are posts from a mom who's a bit frazzled, a bit obsessive compulsive and a tad bit tired and I'm just being real with y'all. That's the season of life that I am in and I can't help but wear my heart on my sleeve.

Now, I read lots blogs from other stay-at-home moms (that might be you, my blogging friend). And sometimes it SEEMS as if every one else in the same season of life has it together much better than I do. They have schedules/routines, recipes, fun outings with the family, contests, beautiful photos, clean houses, deep thoughts, a clue what's going on in the world, time to care about people other than their immediate family, etc. I often wonder where in the world one has time to accomplish such endeavors, let alone take photos and blog about them.

The truth is, I know that this is not the case. Most of us would rather portray our polished side of life. No-one likes a negative Nancy. But I'm certain everyone has their struggles.

And some people are just not the transparent type. You have to respect that not everyone likes to let it all hang out for the entire internet to see. But I'm certain everyone has a response to their struggles. Feelings are universal.

And we all come with our own set of strengths & weaknesses. Some more obvious than others. Heehee.

And some of us have nice cameras!

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And so my conclusion is that I will continue to be me and I will continue to blog about my REAL LIFE. That's why I started this in the first place.

I happen to be in a season of life full of challenges and I don't have it all together but God is my strength (that is what Gabrielle means btw).

I happen to be transparent to a fault and an over sharer but at least I'm honest.

I happen to a realist but I also have an immense a mount of hope.

I happen to be in a serious season of life but I still have a sense of humor.

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And so my blogging will be sporadic as usual as I keep my priorities in check. But I'd like to write a bit more about REAL LIFE. Why? Because that is where God is at work in my heart. That is place where the rubber meets the road. Because that is the place where my theology and reality must mesh to testify to the One who upholds me in His right hand - Jesus Christ.

I have told you these things so that in me you shall have PEACE. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have OVERCOME the world!
-John 16:33
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Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Catching Up - Continued

Tim walked out the door with suitcase in hand. He'd be gone ten days in Mexico with our youth group on a missions trip. I sat in my bed with tears streaming down my face already missing my husband and wondering how I was going to survive with a newborn and preschooler. Gabrielle was 5 weeks at the time. So, we packed up. Oh, yes we packed up what seemed to be the entire house and headed over to Mimi and Papa's for a few days.

Papa might be a grown man but he plays like a kid.
Samuel slept well after hours of fun on the trampoline.

Gabrielle thought Papa was entertaining too!

We caught the 4th of July parade with the most of Tim's family. He and his cousin were having a blast. Samuel ate tons of kettle corn, and candy. A rare treat that when combined with 85 degree heat and a skipped nap produced a pretty good melt down. Oh well it was fun while it lasted.

Aunt Carrie drove home with us and helped me to not lose my mind for another few days. Mimi also came out. Thank You So Much!!!

And so we survived the 10 days without Daddy. It was worth the sacrifice when heaven touches earth. Please link to Amanda's blog to read some awesome testimonies of God at work! You'll be amazed!!!

Friday, June 13, 2008

Thinking about Gabrielle's Birthday...

May 23, 2008. That is the date of my sweet Gabrielle's birthday. Perhaps it's not the date she chose to arrive on, but it was the date we decided she would make her appearance. I agonized over the decision of getting induced. I know so many woman do it, but there is something about letting our bodies do what God designed them to do. I trust in that design and had the blessing of a natural child birth with my Samuel. However, the big belly got the best of me at 14 days past my due date and we needed to get on with life.

I had some rare complications after my birth with Samuel. A minor hemorrhage and a surgery 5 days later that took almost 7 months to fully heal. It was rough on top of the bed-rest for half my pregnancy. (If you know me, I am a busy bee - can't sit still kind of person.) Samuel, unlike his sister was eager to come out so we worked on keeping him in. And he did - what a good boy!

Needless to say, it all seemed to me that God was solidifying my heart's desire to adopt children in the future. The desire to adopt was planted in my heart after working with missionary friends of mine in Romania for several summers. It is my heart's cry to care for the orphan and widow!

Tim and I researched international adoption for about six months when we felt the nudge to expand our family. It was an amazing experience that further reinforced my call to care for the orphaned and abandoned children in our world. I learned of several wonderful organizations that not only do adoptions but also have amazing relief efforts under way (Check out All God's Children and the story of how they got started). I spent hours learning about the plight of many of the world's children and spent many more hours crying and interceding on their behalf. God however did not open any doors for us to adopt during this current season of life. We still had the nudge to expand our family and there was only one other way to do it. Yep. We got pregnant. Something I never thought I would do a second time, but once I saw those 2 pink lines on the stick I was jumping for joy!!! I do beleive that there will be a season of life for me where I will fulfill my call to the orphan whether it be through adoption or relief work and I can't wait to share that experience with Tim, Samuel and Gabrielle.

Anyway, that brings us back to May 23rd. I had the option of going on a pitocin drip or having my midwife break my water. I was so far dilated and effaced, she figured that either way should be a quick induction. We started a pitocin drip around 12:30 pm and sat around of birthing suite playing computer games to pass the time. Tim and I were laughing and were quite giddy with expectation. After 3 hours with some inconsistent and painless contractions, we decided to walk the halls. I was able to use a portable fetal monitor so I wasn't bound to the bed like many induced women are. Courtney arrived and started the photo shoot!



After about 4 hours of pitocin, the contractions hit hard and fast. Bradley Child Birth training paid off big time! I went through active labor in 2 1/4 hours, transition labor for about 15 minutes and pushed for 1/2 hour. My sweet girl made her arrival at 7:32pm and we managed to do it without any pain medication!!! She was as lovely as could be at 9lbs, 6 oz and 21 1/4 inches with her platinum blond hair. Oh, that joy ... you know, the one that replaces the pain with equal intensity! It flooded my heart to overflowing. Another precious miracle has been given to me from above!



The rest of he story is unfortunate. I began to have a very serious hemorrhage after delivering the placenta. They opened the pitocin drip, gave me a shot of something and another suppository of some sort. Nothing was working! For those of you that have experienced child birth, you know all about the "pushing on the abdomen" routine you are subjected to in order to clamp down the uterus. Well, they had to do that every 15 minutes. The nurse must have been the incredible hulk's wife in disguise because she really knew how to push!

They also had to do other horrific things to me internally which I will spare you the details since this is posted on the internet. After several hours of this routine, I decided to take some drugs to help me cope with the pain. I was losing the fight in me quickly. My blood pressure crashed several times - very scary! Thank God for smelling salts and IV fluids!

I have to tell you that Tim was truly amazing. He never left my side and he was my constant source of peace in the moment. Even when I could not open my eyes, I could hear his soft voice praying or talking to me. My mother-in-law had Gabrielle in her arms. I cannot thank her enough for being there and enduring into the wee hours of the night.

After 4 hours of bleeding and various medical opinions, it was decided that exploratory surgery would be our best option. I remember thinking at this point - I'm either going to die, or they are going to knock me out and it would be OK if either happened, I just need the pain, the prodding, the bleeding to stop.

The Doctor on call happened to be the same doctor that did my surgery after Samuel. I just love her and it was a blessing to see her face. When they finally wheeled me into the OR, I felt a huge sense of relief and even found a bit of my sense of humor as I asked the doctor if she wouldn't mind performing a vasectomy on my husband when she was done. There was chuckles throughout the room and then the next thing I knew I was waking up. The bleeding had stopped and so did all the hustle and bustle around me. It was a peaceful moment. They wound up giving me 2 units of blood since my hematocrit was dangerously low and I was finally allowed to rest. The reason for the bleeding: a piece of the placenta tore off and was still attached to the uterus. As Samuel would say, "Silly Placenta!"

While I was recovering, Tim, my mother-in-law, and Gabrielle were moved into a new room. Tim had to go back to the birthing suite to make sure we had all our belongings. He told me that when he got there, the cleaning lady was just about to go in. Poor cleaning lady! The room was now eerily empty and quiet. Blood was everywhere. Tim said it was a difficult moment for him knowing that it was my blood, but God's peace permeated the moment. He said that a divine word was planted in his heart - the blood I had lost would be redeemed. And so he left that birthing suite - the one where both of beautiful children were born - and he came to my side to comfort me.



I returned to my room about 5:30am - 10 hours after my daughter was born. And so started the beginning of healing and parenting 2 children. I have been healing quickly and am so thankful to the amazing people who helped me through - Jennifer, the nurse during the birth, was incredible. She watched me closely and even stayed late to go with me into surgery! Helen, my maternity nurse, was so kind and gentle. She helped me get on my feet again. Pam, the mid-wife who delivered Gabrielle, was so even natured and calm through the whole ordeal. I always felt like I was in good hands. Courtney, a true friend! She photographed the birth for us. Esther, who watched Lila for Courtney and had to listen to the whole thing from the hallway. Eileen, who cares for my family as if we were her own; and both my mother and mother-in-law for giving of themselves so completely in the weeks following.

So, I grapple with the "why" this all had to happen. Even as firm in my faith as I think I am, I still wrestle with God from time to time. I am trying to remain thankful for a healthy pregnancy and baby. Also, for the medical care we have here in the US - many women across the globe die during childbirth because of severe hemorrhaging. Yet I still struggle with why both of my birthing experiences had so many rare complications. I wonder if God has sealed the deal in my heart. The heart that longs to help lost and abandoned children. I wonder if he is showing me what it means to endure in faith and in trust when things just don't make sense. See, the one thing I know is that we cannot escape the trials of a fallen world, but we can overcome because Jesus did. The other thing I know is that our faith does not rest in what God does but in who God is. We must have a faith that finds itself secure within his complete sovereignty and his unfailing love. Without those two things the world will toss us about like the waves of the sea. I don't know about you, but I'd rather be on the ROCK!

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Breakfast Prayer

Samuel was in the middle of eating his breakfast this morning - eggies and raisin toast. Tim and I were busy about the kitchen when we heard this...

"Jesus, pwease bwess my frwiends and famiwy. Help me to stay in big boy bed. Obey Mommy and Daddy. Help me to know you. In Jesus name. Amen!!

Tim and I stopped dead in our tracks as we saw a little boy with his hands clasped and his eyes squeezed tightly shut talking to God in his little 2 year old voice. The whole thing brought tears to my eyes. How amazing to know that what you sow into these little ones truly sticks with them. It was a most precious moment.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Pre-Thanksgiving Thoughts


The moment has arrived and I hope it is lasting. My morning sickness and indigestion have gone. I have officially enjoyed food for 3 days now. Yippee!!! What great timing for Thanksgiving this week. I hope I get as stuffed as the bird itself!


Just wanted to post a few things I am thankful for this holiday:

1) The season of joy and peace our family is currently experiencing. It's good to recognize and be thankful for the peaceful, uneventful seasons of life as they can so often be interrupted without warning.

2) A husband who is generous, caring and self-sacrificing. I love you!

3) A husband who will change his clothes when I tell him his outfit looks funny!

4) A son who makes me realize just how big my heart truly can be!

5) The way Samuel talks to my belly and rubs it ever so gently while saying "baby come out." He's going to have a long wait. Perhaps this will help his virtually non-existent toddler patience.

6) An awesome turkey dinner that I am not having to prepare - thanks Donna!!! Plan on a double portion for us. Chick pea and I are finally HUNGRY!

7) For the one pair of non-maternity jeans that I can still fit into. Well, maybe not after Thanksgiving.

8) That my son now asks for an m&m every time he poops (and it's not even in the potty) It's a long story.

9) My family (all sides) who are always thoughtful and supportive of all we do!

10) A God who never lets me go too long without reminding me that his plans for me, his love for me and his kingdom are not out of reach!


And of course I am thankful for you! It has been very uplifting to have this little circle of blogging friends. You are always a highlight in my day! I hope each of you have a beautiful Thanksgiving.

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18