Showing posts with label Real Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Real Life. Show all posts

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Help Wanted

Personal Assistant to sleep deprived, absented minded Stay at Home Mom. Must be able to use a pen and write in a planner. Should be able to communicate such appointments to SAHM so she looks like she has it all together. Must be able to make sure SAHM is showered with teeth brushed and bra on for such appointments. Must be willing to clean up poop on occasion. Please call by yesterday for interview.

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So tell me where did all my brain cells go?

Of course, right here...

And here.

And for those of you who knew me in college, don't answer that question!

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Last Monday, hubby was working a 13 hour day. It was bedtime and I had Samuel occupied on the computer while I put Gabby Girl to bed at 7pm. All was going well until...

I heard this as I came down the stairs, "Mom, look! I can wipe all by myself!" I peered into the bathroom and to my dismay there was poop just about everywhere but in the toilet. I will spare you the details and just quietly mention that someone had an accident and was now trying to be a big boy. I kept my cool and told him that accidents happen when we don't STOP whatever we are doing to use the toilet.

So now there were a ton of groceries on my counter to be put away, the sink was piled a mile high with dirty dishes, toys strewn throughout the living room, and now I had to add in the glorious task of poop clean up. Well thankfully I had not yet showered for the day...phew!

Tim entered around 7:25 just as I was finishing Samuel's bath. Being the good husband that he is, he commented on the stench that permeated the house and then entered right in on the poop clean up!

At promptly 7:30, the doorbell rang. I looked at Tim in surprise because our doorbell never rings. Tim opened the door a crack and lo and behold it was our financial planner/insurance guy holding up his end of the appointment I made about a month prior.

"Bernie, you can't come in!" I said, as the smell knocked him off his feet. Well not literally, but it must have gotten to him a bit since he offered to come back in a half-hour. What a good guy. Upon his return he so kindly let me know that indeed the house no longer smelled like poop.

NOW... if I had my very own Personal Assistant, the story might have ended like this...

"Don't worry Michelle, I'll clean the poop up while you put some make up on and get ready for your appointment" my assistant said. So I got dressed and boy was I looking good for my husband's arrival from work. I also had time to pick up the house a bit and put out some cheese and crackers (that my assistant prepared in advance) on the table.

Tim showed up at 7:25. I greeted him with a smile and kiss. Samuel was already dressed in PJ's and now set up with a movie and popcorn on the couch.

At promptly 7:30, the doorbell rang. "Tim can you grab the door, Bernie's here!" Bernie came in, remarked how nice the house smelled and asked what scent the candle was. We all sat down and had a lovely and productive visit!

Isn't daydreaming fun?

Actually sometimes, it's sanity!!!

Monday, February 16, 2009

A "Real Life" Valentines Day


Can I just tell you how awesome my hubby is?

OK. Good.

Friday he arranged for a babysitter and took me out to a very romantic dinner for 3 (we took Gabrielle, of course). He really went out of his way to make the date special since we've not been out in a LOOOOOng time. We ate some spectacular Italian food. I had Chicken French with greens and beans au gratin on the side. Yummy! I love anything green and the greens and beans were to die for! During dinner, he gave me a fun card with a heartfelt letter inside. And yes, I teared up while reading but was able to keep my composure in public. Gabrielle kept things light as she chucked a gazillion cheerios onto the floor and tossed every toy we brought along. Overall, she was very pleasant company.

During dinner I realized what a good listener Tim really is. I've been complaining ALOT about wanting a snickers bar lately (I've been watching my chocolate intake after overdosing on OREO's last week) so he busted out some Godiva Chocolate Pearls after our meal - what a good man! I've also had some major fights with my closet lately and they have left me in some bad , down-right foul moods. He also informed me that he spent some time shopping for an outfit for me to wear to dinner but it never materialized because of my inconsistent clothing size these days - so now I get to go out and pick some clothes myself. It was a great Pre-Valentine's Day UNTIL...

3 AM - when Gabrielle decided she would exercise her lungs for several hours. Holy cow -is that girl LOUD. She must take after me. We finally got back to sleep at 5:15am and our Samuel woke up promptly at 6am with Gabrielle following closely behind at 6:45. Tim, nor I, were expressing a "Valentine's Day Spirit" to say the least. So, I took a nap and hubby in his exhausted state took the kids. Once I got up, it was Tim's turn to sleep, UNTIL...

Samuel's nice quiet play turned into hysterics when he decided to shove a small purple fluffy pom-pom up his left nostril. Samuel kept shoving his finger up his nose trying to get it out only driving that little purple pom-pom further up. Oh-boy, our first object up the nose experience. Tim had to hold him down, while I gently tweezed that snot cover pom pom out. He never thought he'd survive, but he did. And so did we, UNTIL...

Gabrielle picked up an itsy-bitsy-teensy-weensy unknown object from the kitchen floor with her newly perfected pincher grip (even though I vacuum and sweep like a mad woman) and began coughing, choking, gagging, crying and spitting up. Whatever was lodged in her throat (probably some crusty piece of food - gross) eventually made it's way down after a minor freak out from mama and then some prayers. She survived, and so did we, UNTIL...

Gabrielle found her way into the food pantry while Daddy was getting out some stuff for dinner. She's perfected the forward crawl and so she will hunt you down wherever you may be and promptly get under your feet. Daddy accidentally dropped a can of tuna fish and it landed on the poor baby's hand. Oh my did she cry. After a small freak out from mama and some prayers, she was just fine - just a little bruise.

Thankfully all the incidents of the day were minor and we celebrated our Valentine's Day the best way we knew how. With lots of patience, hugs and heart-shape cookies. Heart-shape cookies always make the day a little brighter. Thank you Eileen!


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Monday, January 5, 2009

Are you still there?

Warning: This is a real life post


OK, so I've been MIA. Let me sum it up for you in a few brief words...

Family member in hospital
Gabby's got a cold
Wrapping presents
Early Christmas celebration at our house
Packing up half the house to travel for the holidays
Christmas was great
Traveled home safely
Hung a few more things on my walls
Still living out of boxes
Tim lacerates three of his fingers at work
Tim goes to the ER and gets stitched up
Michelle must now give Tim a bath, wash his hair and help him put his clothes on
Michelle is doing A LOT of dishes
Snow storm
Gabby's cutting her top front teeth - BOTH AT THE SAME TIME
Stayed up all night on New Years Eve with a screaming baby
Gabby's got an ear infection
More antibiotics
Samuel pukes on kitchen table - just choking, no flu, thank God!
Celebrated my 6th year of wedded bliss

If you are still checking in, I've got lots of pictures to share and lots of stories to tell. Stay tuned for the details if you dare! Happy New year!!!

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Tuesday, December 2, 2008

The past 10 days...

Warning: This is a real life post!


I'm back. We have officially moved and I am officially exhausted!

I will at some point regret posting this picture.

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Let me sum up the past 10 days for you all:

We sold our mobile home, filled a 24" moving truck to the max and moved about 10 minutes down the road.

We all caught a cold for the occasion.

I didn't flip out during the move (if you know me, you know this is a very good thing!) although I did have a moment where the grace was not being extended toward my father-in-law when he asked where I wanted my entertainment center. It was the one decision that teetered me over the edge. I really am sorry.

We had amazing help throughout the process - Brian and his 3 buddies, all the men from church, sweet Debbie who adores my kids, my super duper packers - Eileen & Vic, Dan and Dad, Sally who fed us and Teresa (who I swear is an angel). I can't THANK you enough!

Samuel slept through the night 5 nights in a row (TOTAL MIRACLE!) in his new twin bed in his new room.

Gabrielle on the other hand is waking, oh between 4-6 times a night - teething and snot will do that to you.

MOST of the boxes are unpacked but no decorating has begun.

We now have white walls with neighbors on each side.

Each neighbor has 3 kids all under the age of 7. It can get pretty rowdy around here. And I think my kid might be the loudest.

We have two floors - good-bye cellulite, hello thighs of steel!

Samuel decided all the rules from the old house were non-transferable!!! Good grief - I never knew we could do time out that many times in a day!

Everything here is new, clean and spacious! I am in organizing heaven!

My hubby and I are still on the same page! PRICELESS!


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Thursday, November 13, 2008

Another potty training tale

Warning: This is a real life post!


So, you're sick of the poop talk, huh?

I'm sorry. Well, not really. I've got to talk to someone about it.

The other night I was home alone with the 2 kids. I was putting Gabrielle down for the night. In order to keep my curious Samuel out of trouble, I set him up at the computer. This usually keeps him focused for at least 15 minutes.

Well not that night, because duty called...
I mean doody called.

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Samuel (standing naked in the living room holding his pull up by the tips of his fingers): Mommy, I pooped in my pull-up. oops! I put it in the potty.

Me: You did what? (As I saw the brown spots on his leg and the carpet)

Samuel (smiling so proud): I put my poopy in the potty mommy!

Me: Why yes you did! (as I carried all 35 lbs of him out in front of me stepping over the landmines on my carpet)

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Yes, there was poop on my son, poop on my carpet ( 5 spots to be exact), poop on my toilet. There was poop everywhere! I scrubbed, disinfected, showered the boy and put him to bed.

This morning was a brand new day. I was putting the incident behind me. I made some tea, straightened up and decided to open the blinds to let some glorious sunshine in. And GASP, what did I see on my carpet...

FIVE LARGE BLUE STAINS!!

Apparently Spot Shot carpet cleaner works so well, it pulled the dye right out of the blue rag I was using and deposited it directly on my carpet. Right on the same carpet that I just paid good money to have professionally cleaned.

And to top it off, the woman who is putting a purchase offer on my mobile home was coming over this morning to give me her deposit. (Oh, yeah, I've neglected to tell you we are moving into a townhouse in 8 days - oops!) My exersaucer never looked so good smack in the middle of my living room. She didn't notice a thing.

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Thursday, November 6, 2008

A Potty Training Tale

Warning: This is a Real Life post


Scene 1

Tim and Samuel playing tackle football in our living room.

Tim: Did we have a poop situation go on here? (holding his pointer finger out in the air with a brown blob on the end)

Michelle: What do you mean?

Tim: Well, what's this? (As he gives it a whiff)

Michelle: Yeah, he did a poopy in his pants before but I cleaned it all up. Maybe, he pooped some more and it fell out of the leg of his pants.

Tim: Oh great, we've been rolling around in it. (Pointing to the small brown stain on the carpet)


Scene 2:
Michelle is cleaning Samuel up for a second time.

Michelle: Lay down here buddy, so I can wipe you clean.

Samuel: Do I have poopy in my heiney mom?

Michelle: Yes, don't touch.

Samuel: Oh Okay (As he puts his finger on his rear and then wipes it on his shirt)

Can you say EEEEWWW?!?!



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Friday, September 19, 2008

Comedy or Tragedy???


Warning: This is a Real Life post!

Yesterday. Oh yesterday. How I wish I could forget yesterday. But I must tell you about it first!

You would've been proud of me. Despite the chaos, I totally kept it together. No complaining, flipping out, binge cookie eating (I'm doing that right now), or driving away to an unknown destination never to return! There was certain war between the spirit and the flesh, but the spirit triumphed!!!

So, let's start with midnight... we were sleeping peacefully after a short middle of the night visit from Samuel.

As the night progressed, Gabrielle nursed one too many times, as usual. Not a growth spurt, just a really bad pattern we've gotten into and I've been to chicken to break it. Totally my fault. Anyway, that's another post for another day.

Samuel got up at 4:40 AM and did NOT go back to bed despite Tim's best efforts. Who gets up at that hour??? The only people up at that hour are those crazy "I need to jog 3 miles, do yoga, and clean my house before work" people. We are no such people in this house. Now let me tell you, Samuel was a totally crankster the entire morning. Just existing seemed to frustrate him. This was not a good day for a family rendition of "This is the Day."

Yesterday was Samuel's first day at a new home day care. He goes two mornings a week. It could have gone one of two ways. He'd either be distracted right out of his overtired state or Miss Mary Kay might be wondering what she got herself into. Not a good day for first impressions. So, I put my clothes on from the day before and took Mr. Crankerton to day care.

Got back home, put Gabrielle down for a nap. Can you sing the Hallelujah chorus with me? Wait, not too fast! My little buttercup only slept for 20 minutes and I could not get her back to sleep. Now I had crankster #2 on my hands.

Good news! Samuel did great at Miss Mary Kay's house. It was getting him home and in bed for an early nap that was the trouble. I basically spent the next several hours either trying to put children to sleep or keep them sleeping. I think I had to lay down with my daughter 6 times yesterday to accomplish 3 hours of napping.

Time to make dinner. My master plan was to put Samuel on the computer and Gabrielle in her bouncer. That's when tragedy struck. The Playhouse Disney and Sesame Street sites were not working! WHAT??? How could they not work??? Don't they know that my sanity was on the line. So, I called the cable company pronto!

I spoke with a very patient man. And I mean VERY patient (3 month old + 3 year old + phone conversation = chaos). He walked me through a few steps and then refreshed my modem. Uh oh!!! No modem, no phone! My cable friend was gone just like that. Now what? Determination set in despite a crying baby and my son who was into who knows what. I preceded to plug and unplug many cords until everything was working. YES!!!

Dinner happened.

It was the post dinner events that trumped the rest of the day.

I saw the look on Samuel's face. The "I'm about to poop" look. If your a mom, you know this look well. Samuel has not been interested in potty training but tonight he complied! Woohoo! Off we went to the bathroom and we sat and sat and sat and nothing! I left the bathroom for no more than 30 seconds and upon my return, poop happened! Yes, poop happened alright but not on the potty. There was poop on the floor, on his hand and his face. I think he tried to clean it up.

I disinfected almost everything but the ceiling and sent Samuel off diaperless for a brief moment. Apparently he was not finished pooping and he didn't quite make it back to the bathroom in time. I heard an "oops" and that was it. Another round of disinfecting began.

And so the day finally ended around 9pm. The kids were finally sleeping in their beds. I, still in my clothes from the day before, decided it was time for a shower. A very LONG shower! You can sing the Hallelujah chorus with me now.

I survived yet another day in my real life!

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Saturday, September 13, 2008

Real Life

So I've been thinking. Lately many of my posts have had a somehwat negative slant to them. Well, maybe not negative but they are certainly not the uplifting, "my life is so great" type of posts. They are posts from a mom who's a bit frazzled, a bit obsessive compulsive and a tad bit tired and I'm just being real with y'all. That's the season of life that I am in and I can't help but wear my heart on my sleeve.

Now, I read lots blogs from other stay-at-home moms (that might be you, my blogging friend). And sometimes it SEEMS as if every one else in the same season of life has it together much better than I do. They have schedules/routines, recipes, fun outings with the family, contests, beautiful photos, clean houses, deep thoughts, a clue what's going on in the world, time to care about people other than their immediate family, etc. I often wonder where in the world one has time to accomplish such endeavors, let alone take photos and blog about them.

The truth is, I know that this is not the case. Most of us would rather portray our polished side of life. No-one likes a negative Nancy. But I'm certain everyone has their struggles.

And some people are just not the transparent type. You have to respect that not everyone likes to let it all hang out for the entire internet to see. But I'm certain everyone has a response to their struggles. Feelings are universal.

And we all come with our own set of strengths & weaknesses. Some more obvious than others. Heehee.

And some of us have nice cameras!

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And so my conclusion is that I will continue to be me and I will continue to blog about my REAL LIFE. That's why I started this in the first place.

I happen to be in a season of life full of challenges and I don't have it all together but God is my strength (that is what Gabrielle means btw).

I happen to be transparent to a fault and an over sharer but at least I'm honest.

I happen to a realist but I also have an immense a mount of hope.

I happen to be in a serious season of life but I still have a sense of humor.

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And so my blogging will be sporadic as usual as I keep my priorities in check. But I'd like to write a bit more about REAL LIFE. Why? Because that is where God is at work in my heart. That is place where the rubber meets the road. Because that is the place where my theology and reality must mesh to testify to the One who upholds me in His right hand - Jesus Christ.

I have told you these things so that in me you shall have PEACE. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have OVERCOME the world!
-John 16:33
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Wednesday, August 27, 2008

An ugly kind of day

Woke up, used bathroom, flushed. Heard running water 5 minutes later. Toilet has been overflowing since. Water ALL over bathroom, under cabinet and washing machine. Spent a 1/2 hour cleaning it up. DIDN'T eat breakfast. Put baby down for a nap only to have her WOKEN up after 10 minutes. Had an appointment at my house, met with woman in my SWEATS with my make up from yesterday still under my eyes. Put baby down for another nap - DIDN'T sleep. Made lunch for Samuel. Put him down for a nap. Nursed baby - she fell asleep. Kicking on wall from boy who won't go to sleep WOKE the baby again! Now neither of my children are sleeping and I'm still in my sweats with make up under my eyes.

I think I'll take another splash of tuna please!

UPDATE: Went for a LONG drive. Kiddos passed out in 5 minutes. I ate fast food. Good news: sanity restored. Bad news: tummy ache!
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Tuesday, August 26, 2008

And a splash of tuna!

Got up, dropped Samuel at a friends house, ate breakfast AT the table, showered AND shaved, applied make-up AND product to my hair, hung out with my hubby, did laundry AND put it away, picked Samuel up, put both kids down for a nap at the SAME time, splashed some tuna juice all over myself while making lunch. I'm NOT taking another shower.

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Tuesday, August 19, 2008

I don't want to be THAT mother.

How many of you have been through this scenario or one similar?

So your walking somewhere in public. In my case it was a busy street just after a parade.

It's just you and the 2 kiddos. Baby is sleeping (or crying in my case) in the stroller. Your 3 year old is having a minor melt-down for whatever reason that may be. In my case from parade over-stimulation, no nap and a pound of kettle corn in the belly. He decides that he will walk no further and in protest goes limp and lays in the middle of the sidewalk whining.

You have just become THAT mother.

You know, the one passer-byers gawk at as they wonder why you can't control your kid. Yes, THAT one.

So you pick up your limp child under you arm like a pro-wrestler and you begin to push the stroller with the other. You put the "I have everything under control" smile on for your audience as you bee line for your car. Problem is you can't seem to keep the stroller straight with one hand so you accidentally bump into one of those gawkers. You say sorry but really your not.

In my case, a sweet angel of a woman stopped and asked me where my car was (it was about a 1/4 mile away). She then whipped Samuel out of my arms and carried him all the way to my car while happily chatting with me. She was a grandmother of 12 and I'm certain she was also an angel!

So what do I do when an angel doesn't come to my rescue? Do I want one of these? You tell me!

BabyTrend sit & stand stroller.
(Older child can sit on a platform or stand on the back)
And would you get the single or the double?
(The seat in the back folds up so older child can either sit or stand)

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Anyone know what I'm talking about?

I was fully aware and fully warned that going from 1 child to 2 children would be a major adjustment. "Major adjustment" is a nice way of saying "temporary insanity"!!!!! I wish I could tell you that I'm the super easy going, patient type who was born to be a mom. Nope, I'm the type A, somewhat OCD, worrying type that wonders how in the world I will survive this parenting adventure. I'm learning to keep it together between fussy nights with a newborn and a toddler who can't decide if he loves me or is mad at me. The good news is I'm getting more sleep this time around, my daughter is already smiling at me and my son has learned how to pour me a glass of water.

Anyway, I have so much to say, many photos to post and much blog stalking to do. It's just going to have to wait until I figure out how to brush my teeth before 3pm.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Better Then Yesterday

Shall I start with today or yesterday? Yesterday was a challenge, today a reprieve. Perhaps I should start with last weekend... yes, that's where I'll start. Tim has been working wild hours this entire week starting last Sunday. Leaving at 4 o'clock in the morning and returning just in time to scarf down some food and go to bed. Needless to say, we are sleeping apart (I'm in our spare room) and that's a good thing. The mad-woman in me gets aroused when I'm woken in the middle of the night, and I wake up to just about anything including the rustling of the sheets. That's why I like jersey knit - they are basically noiseless sheets. Needless to say, I miss my husband: his company, his help and his presence in our home.

This week probably would have been no big deal if I wasn't 11 weeks pregnant, narcotically tired, sick to my stomach most, and a mother of a very active toddler boy who would prefer to use me as a trampoline rather than a cushion. Not to mention that I am a highly social person and the lack of adult interaction seems like a form of torture for me. The week was like a lessen in self-control as I had to cook, clean, play with my son, attempt to run a business (this part has not gone very well at all) and hold up the fort despite the way I am feeling physically. The only thing I didn't do was clean the cat litter for which I have a very legitimate excuse. And thankfully I maintained some level of patience with my son who was getting bored and a bit stir crazy. I think he was climbing just about everything in the house and trying to ride the cat like a horse. As the week progressed, I began to break down. Let's see...Subway sub, McDonald's salad, then chicken parm from the local italian restaurant. Samuel's diapers weren't changed quite as frequently and the dishes were beginning to pile. The only thing that got me to do them was the fear of smelling them with my super duper pregnant olfactory system the next morning. That would be tragic.

Friday (we are finally at yesterday) was the breaking point when Tim told me he'd be home a few hours later than planned. He might as well said that he wouldn't be home for another year. All those hormones came rushing to the surface. Self-control break-down occurred as I wept on the phone. Samuel stood staring blankly at me then cracked a nervous "what's wrong with mommy" smile. I hung up, sat on the floor and cried and cried and cried. Jesus cried tears of blood, well I'm sure I was crying tears of estrogen! I was so glad to finally close my eyes at the end of the day in our bed since Tim would be home the next morning!

This morning I woke to Samuel's chipper morning sounds in the monitor. I'm pretty sure he was singing Happy Birthday to some inanimate object in his room. I looked over and there was my husband in bed with me! We all cuddled in bed for awhile while Samuel read the numbers on the digital clock for 20 minutes, Tim graciously cooked breakfast and we headed out to catch a sale at the mall. Samuel was so happy to have mommy and daddy together and I was so happy to be a family. It was a great day! Unfortunately Tim had to work this evening again. Ughhh... dinner alone again and what am I going to make? The all too familiar dread (nausea) came over me but there is a happy ending. Jennifer called right before dinner time and came over with fresh bread, soup and dessert (thank you Andrea!!!) It was so delicious and it really hit the spot! She was my hero for the day. I'm sure it was God's way of letting me know that he really does hear us when we cry out (even if it is tears of estrogen). Overall, today was much better than yesterday!

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

I forgot how hard this is



For some reason I just don't remember being this sick with Samuel. It's a good thing us women have some degree of memory loss when it comes to having babies or we'd never do it again. I guess I'm just not one of those happy, glowing pregnant women. In fact, I'm sure Tim is sick of seeing my butt on the couch and a scowl on my face every evening when he comes in the door. And poor Samuel, well let's just say he's watching a bit more TV than usual. For those of you who know me well, I thought you's appreciate the following pictures of my house. It's called the first trimester siesta! No cleaning for me!