Better Then Yesterday

Shall I start with today or yesterday? Yesterday was a challenge, today a reprieve. Perhaps I should start with last weekend... yes, that's where I'll start. Tim has been working wild hours this entire week starting last Sunday. Leaving at 4 o'clock in the morning and returning just in time to scarf down some food and go to bed. Needless to say, we are sleeping apart (I'm in our spare room) and that's a good thing. The mad-woman in me gets aroused when I'm woken in the middle of the night, and I wake up to just about anything including the rustling of the sheets. That's why I like jersey knit - they are basically noiseless sheets. Needless to say, I miss my husband: his company, his help and his presence in our home.

This week probably would have been no big deal if I wasn't 11 weeks pregnant, narcotically tired, sick to my stomach most, and a mother of a very active toddler boy who would prefer to use me as a trampoline rather than a cushion. Not to mention that I am a highly social person and the lack of adult interaction seems like a form of torture for me. The week was like a lessen in self-control as I had to cook, clean, play with my son, attempt to run a business (this part has not gone very well at all) and hold up the fort despite the way I am feeling physically. The only thing I didn't do was clean the cat litter for which I have a very legitimate excuse. And thankfully I maintained some level of patience with my son who was getting bored and a bit stir crazy. I think he was climbing just about everything in the house and trying to ride the cat like a horse. As the week progressed, I began to break down. Let's see...Subway sub, McDonald's salad, then chicken parm from the local italian restaurant. Samuel's diapers weren't changed quite as frequently and the dishes were beginning to pile. The only thing that got me to do them was the fear of smelling them with my super duper pregnant olfactory system the next morning. That would be tragic.

Friday (we are finally at yesterday) was the breaking point when Tim told me he'd be home a few hours later than planned. He might as well said that he wouldn't be home for another year. All those hormones came rushing to the surface. Self-control break-down occurred as I wept on the phone. Samuel stood staring blankly at me then cracked a nervous "what's wrong with mommy" smile. I hung up, sat on the floor and cried and cried and cried. Jesus cried tears of blood, well I'm sure I was crying tears of estrogen! I was so glad to finally close my eyes at the end of the day in our bed since Tim would be home the next morning!

This morning I woke to Samuel's chipper morning sounds in the monitor. I'm pretty sure he was singing Happy Birthday to some inanimate object in his room. I looked over and there was my husband in bed with me! We all cuddled in bed for awhile while Samuel read the numbers on the digital clock for 20 minutes, Tim graciously cooked breakfast and we headed out to catch a sale at the mall. Samuel was so happy to have mommy and daddy together and I was so happy to be a family. It was a great day! Unfortunately Tim had to work this evening again. Ughhh... dinner alone again and what am I going to make? The all too familiar dread (nausea) came over me but there is a happy ending. Jennifer called right before dinner time and came over with fresh bread, soup and dessert (thank you Andrea!!!) It was so delicious and it really hit the spot! She was my hero for the day. I'm sure it was God's way of letting me know that he really does hear us when we cry out (even if it is tears of estrogen). Overall, today was much better than yesterday!